Monday, March 01, 2010

The Month of February

5.2 lbs. That is what I GAINED last month. :sigh: It's my own fault. What do I expect? You eat crap, you become crap, and then you weigh like crap. Right? I have to thank Kyle for the inspiring words he wrote on my last blog on Friday. It really did give me words to thing about. You are truly right. It is me and me alone that can conquer and address my issues with weight loss. I hope I'm ready. I really do but I think I'm not. And I'm afraid I'm just going to keep gaining weight until I hit that point. But I need to stop this. One step at a time right.

I had goals for last week they were:

Weekly Goals for 2/22/10:


1. Journal Did for 2 1/2 days

2. Drink 64 ozs of water a day Did for 2 1/2 days

3. Exercise 1 time Nope

4. Meal Plan Yes. But I haven't this week.
 
So I didn't do real good. I think I need to look back and see why I stopped on Wednesday. Why did I stop and not journal anymore or finish drinking my water. What was my trigger? I don't know if I remember what if anything occured that day. My mind is going for me to remember stuff. LOL!
 
I really can't believe it's March 1st already. Two months of the year have come and gone. What do I have to show for it? Absolutely NOTHING. I am at my all time high this year (ok it's only been two months but still) AND I'm knocking on the door of the 160s again. UGH! I so do not want to see the 160s. Don't want to. Not going to. I want my clothes to fit looser. I want them falling off me. I want to look strong and toned! Of course that means I need to start exercising. My unnamed reward (well now it's named since i'm writing it here) is if I can CONSISTENTLY exercise for 6 months I can purchase a working out wardrobe. Whenever I go to Kohls I see the exercise clothes and I just want to purchase them thinking it'll make me work out if I have the "proper" clothes. YEAH RIGHT! I know me. It'll just turn out to be a waste of money. Now if I can get my butt back into exercising and doing it regularly, I can justify the expense!
 
So anyway, this is a lot of rambling etc. That's what happens when I start to reflect and what better way to reflect and figure out where/what I doing/going then the first of the month! So I'm hoping for March to be a MUCH better month than February!

2 comments:

Kyle Gershman said...

I'm a big over-analyzer of things and I think you are getting there too...time for some good old fashioned instincts.

Also, I have NO GOALS. I know that sounds crazy, but my only goal is to literally do my BEST every day towards getting more healthy. It keeps things really simple and I don't disappoint myself.

I only need to spend time during each moment of the day making sure that I make the best choices, e.g. exercise versus watch tv, eat good food vs not, log my calories vs not, etc.

When I encounter every choice, I just ask if I will have done my best that day if I choose poorly. I usually make the right choice.

Don't get me wrong, there have been a time or two where exercise wasn't in the cards and I truly felt for that day that I had done my level best with everything I could have. No exercise..so be it. But that also meant I was spot on for food and other things.

No goals actually allows me to keep totally focused on each moment of the day without worrying about a whole list of to-do's for the week, month, etc.

You can do this...you are WORTH it, including buying whatever darned exercise clothes you want. You are WORTH all the good that can come from getting fit and doing what it takes to get there. You are worth it!

MommyofSweetpea said...

Don't be so hard on yourself Heather. You have accomplished so much already and you just need to take one day at a time. You look wonderful and you are a fantastic mother and friend!